What’s the difference between a coach and a therapist? And more importantly, should you work with one, the other, or both? Here are my quick answers to the questions above:
What's the difference between a coach and a therapist?
The Simple Answer:
Therapists are trained to identify mental disorders and support a client in understanding and improving their mental health. Therapists typically focus on your past and are ideal to work with if you are facing depression, anxiety, or lasting mental fitness issues. Coaches are trained to help clients articulate what they want in the future (by asking powerful questions) and support you in figuring out how to make the difficult changes in your life to achieve those goals.
The Complicated Answer:
Neither coaches nor therapists can be put in any one bucket. There are over 200 different schools of therapy ranging from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to Attachment Theory, each of which emphasizes a different approach to helping clients improve their mental fitness. Likewise, there is an equally diverse number of coaching schools, some of which focus on communication training and others on personal accountability and mindset.
In addition, many therapists combine different methodologies to craft a personalized approach for each client, as do many coaches. A large number of therapists are now getting trained in coaching and a large number of coaches are getting trained in psychology. Why? Oftentimes, the two skills (therapy and coaching) work well together; a therapist who can switch hats from mental health diagnosis into goal-setting can help you take actions that might challenge old mental models. Meanwhile, coaches trained in psychology can better understand the deeply rooted issues that are holding you back in your personal and professional goals.
Should I work with a therapist, coach, guru, or all of the above?
Ultimately, choosing who to work with comes down to a combination of what kind of support you need and what you can afford.
In an ideal world, everyone would work with both a therapist and coach every week, improving their mental fitness in the same way we work out every day to stay physically fit.
That being said, as a rubric, I believe that if you are struggling with lasting mental health issues you should work with a therapist. And if you are hitting a professional plateau, struggling to get along with teammates or finding yourself feeling stuck in your personal/professional life, then working with a coach is an excellent fit.
My Personal Experience:
I work with both a therapist and a coach and get different things from each person.
My therapist is particularly skilled at helping me slow down and look at the mental processes I go through during the everyday moments of my life. This can range from responding to emails to sharing my emotions with my partner to dealing with stressful life decisions like buying a home. My therapist helps me detect patterns in my behavior, find the roots for why those behaviors exist and methodically change my old beliefs into newer ones that serve me better. In this work, I have also learned to better understand what factors trigger my anxiety and depression for me and how to manage those issues.
With my coach I have developed an equally deep and trusting, but different relationship. Similar to my therapist, I talk to my coach about my mental state, my behavior in different situations, and the patterns in my behavior. Working with my coach; however, is much more action and goal-oriented. I have a primary objective that is the overall focus of our work together and we check on this almost every week. My coach also helps me dig into what is providing fulfillment in my life, where my growth edges lie, and what are actionable next steps that will push me into becoming the type of leader I want to be. I typically leave a coaching session feeling both challenged and energized.
In summary, coaches and therapists can have a significant impact on your life. In both situations, you will get the most out of finding someone with whom you have strong rapport and can develop a deep and trusting bond that allows you to push your emotional boundaries.
More importantly than deciding if you want to work with a therapist or a coach is the fact that you need to find one that is the right fit for you (which may not be the first person you talk to/work with). If it’s a therapist, you should ask what is their methodology, what types and ages of clients do they work with, and do you trust their approach/judgment? With a coach likewise you ask what types of clients they typically work with (executives, new managers, founders, etc.), what are the pillars of their coaching and what kinds of outcomes you can expect.
Best of luck in your decision!